Skinwalkers... a werewolf story?

It's not often... no wait, it is often, that a movie comes along and has a bad ass poster but no bad ass movie to go with the poster. Skinwalkers is about werewolf's, really lame werewolf's. If you've ever wanted to have decent strength, the ability to scale scaffolding, and constant sniffles then you too will want to be a skinwalker. The movie stars... well there's people in it, you could argue who the star of the movie is, but it sucked so why bother? It did have Sarah Carter and Natassia Malthe in it, both were in DOA and basically there careers aren't taking off. Probably because both DOA and Skinwalkers were in the can waiting to be released for over a year. It also "stars", Elias Koetas (Casey Jones from Ninja Turtles) and Rhona Mitra (the neighbor babe from Hallowman) who were also both in the Shooter. I just thought it was kinda weird that 2 sets of people had worked together on different occasions, I'm sure it's happened before but I don't really care.

So the "werewolf's" have this prophecy that if a kid born half werewolf (I use that term lightly) and human (again lightly), that if the kid lives to be 13 (get it?) that he'll cure the werewolf's... somehow. I'll tell you right now, it's his blood! Trust me, if you actually watch this movie you won't even care how it ends, just that it does end. There's nothing spooky in the movie, there's no "boo" moments, and there's no sense of danger or reason to care about any of the characters. The kid in the movie is so dumb that you'll want them to kill him, he couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag with one side missing. You could pretty much count on him doing the exact opposite of whatever he was told. "Don't open the door!" he opened the door, "Don't move!", he'd move and knock something over. I wish they had told him, "Don't act!", then maybe he would have done a better job, or actually stopped acting. The mom (Rhona) was almost as annoying, every time the kid was in bed (Like 3 or 4 times) shes practically sitting on top of him getting right into his face. She too does dumb stuff, like taking the kid to the hospital, even though they know he's turning werewolf or whatever and they have 4 other werewolf's that don't want to be cured trying to kill him. They literally have like a 2 hour lead on these assholes and they stop at a hospital... seriously what was anyone thinking?

Let's talk about the make-up, and things that broke the rules set forth by the movie, or rules that didn't even make sense in the movie. Did you see Dog Soldiers? Well if not they take the weird chest plate thing they do in that movie and put it on the actors chest. The actor's themselves played the werewolf's in full make-up, no puppets or cg. The faces were actually pretty creepy, especially on the hot chick. But that was it, they wore the same clothing, and even gave one guy facial hair. Overall though, I'd say the make-up was the best part of the movie. Now the "good" werewolf's, lock themselves up at night so that they don't feed on anything, especially people. For some reason, if they feed they loose control and can never regain control. Which makes like no sense, literally Elias's character feed for like two seconds and then "lost control" and the mom "Rhona" had to put him down. It didn't break the rules of the movie, although they did tell you word for word that it was going to happen so there was no big surprise, but it just doesn't make to much sense is all. One rule they broke was at night they are werewolf's, well one night the hot chick and the main "bad" werewolf dude turn back to human form while doing it. No you don't get to see anything so don't bother using her frontal fun stuff as a reason to see this movie. In fact you see the guys bad tattoo and flexing arm more than anything, I thought they started filming a Bowflex commercial midway through. In the end the "evil" werewolf ends up being the kids dad, everyone BUT the annoying mother, annoying son, and evil dad die. So they, um, they, go traveling... looking for other werewolf's... to cure them... with the boys blood... by drawing his blood and placing drops of it on bullets... yeah, it's pretty lame since the blood would burn off before hitting the person!

The best part was when that stuttery guy from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman (no you don't get a hyper link for that!) showed up at the end wanting to be cured. Good for him, he'd probably look really dumb in the were-make-up. PS, there's no gore and no blood really, but there is a bad ass granny who takes like 20 rounds, blows up a gas station and still keeps going. If they didn't kill her, I would have liked to have seen a sequel starring her!